Cultural
Diversity in Your Special Day
As our world shrinks everyday and
people are traveling all over the world, we all are being exposed to more variety from
cultures. But we don't always have to leave home to meet people from all over the world.
Just look in the backyard of your own home town, city, and state. We are all now more a
part of a truly global culture than ever before. We are now meeting, dating, falling in
love, and marrying people of many different cultural and religious backgrounds than our
own
Your wedding will be special no matter what traditions you follow, as
long as you have your special someone by your side. Weddings are as individual in style as
they are universal as a ritual. Weddings are a time of family and friends, and traditions
Family traditions, cultural traditions, and religious traditions. One way to give a nod to
family heritage is to incorporate cultural items in the theme of your wedding. Traditions
can be small subtle things that represent the couple's families' heritages. Or you can
make your cultural or religious traditions the main theme for your wedding. Or have
special segments to promote your and/or your fiancé's heritage. Some couples will have a
traditional Western ceremony and then do a special ceremony from your own background like
a Korean tea ceremony.
Cultural traditions are one way to personalize your wedding. You can
use cultural diversity as the main theme of your wedding, or you can choose and
incorporate bits and pieces It is a nice and easy way to incorporate personal pride in
your ancestry, especially today when more couples are multicultural couples. More couples
are getting married who are from different religious, social, ethnic, and cultural
backgrounds. Each and every culture is rich in wedding customs and traditions. Spice up
your special day with a salute to your cultural heritage. Or you can start your own
traditions or borrow from another culture's customs and traditions.
Just a few examples of uses include but are not limited to:
Clothing styles Decorations
Food specialties
Music/dancing
The following cultural information should be considered general in
nature and is believed to be true and accurate representations of some of the customs and
traditions for the represented cultures or religions.
Western Traditions
Boutonnière The groom's flower should be one of the same flowers out of
the bride's bouquet. This tradition is from the Medieval tradition of a Knight carrying
his Lady's colors, as a declaration of love. Each flower and many herbs have a
corresponding meaning passed down from Victorian times and other ages.
Celebration Dates
Monday for health, Tuesday for wealth, Wednesday best of all, Thursday for losses, Friday
for crosses, Saturday for no luck at all
Prior to the 17th century Puritans, most wedding were held on Sunday
because it was most peoples' day off from work. The Puritans felt it was improper to hold
festive occasions on the sacred Sabbath. Saturdays are the most popular day for ceremonies
today for most people. Although some religions and cultures vary on this point. Off days,
other than Saturday, can greatly cut your wedding expenses.
Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind, & true,
When February birds do mate, You wed nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know.
Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden and for Man.
Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll go.
Those who in July do wed, must labor for their daily bread.
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see.
Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine.
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember.
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last.
Traditionally, celebrations were held during off working times and as
symbols of fertility and other agrarian rites. In today's Industrial Age, we are freed
from much of the traditional necessities surrounding celebrations including weddings. May,
from Pagan times, was seen as the beginning of summer and was celebrated with outdoor
orgies. Until recently and still in many Agrarian societies today, life follows the cycles
of the land and harvest. Celebrations were held according to the time and labor demands
throughout the year. In Western cultures, Saturday is the most prevalent day for weddings.
June and September are tied for the two most desired and busy nuptial months, with May and
July following behind them. Times of the year also varies regionally due to weather
conditions of both heat and cold.
Gown Colors
Married in White, you have chosen right
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself back,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Blue, you will always be true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Brown, you will live in the town,
Married in Pink, your spirit will sink.
White is the most popular wedding gown color in the Western society. It
was made famous and trendy by Queen Victoria when she chose it for her wedding gown color
over the traditional silver gowns worn by royalty. White gowns were then picked up by
wealthy brides who could afford a one-use gown of white. White symbolizes purity and
chastity. Lower classes still used their Sunday best attire to be married in. In other
cultures, colored gown are not only frequently used but also have significant meanings.
Traditionally and still in some cultures, the attendants wore the same color and style of
gown as the bride. This could be used for confusion if someone tried to stop the wedding
by abducting the bride or groom in older times where weddings were more for the uniting of
tribes, kingdoms, families, etc. Similar dress was also supposed to confuse any evil
spirits that might try to interfere with the ceremony.
Nuptial Kiss
In Roman times, contracts were sealed with a kiss. The kiss was
considered legally binding This was carried over to weddings, where the nuptial kiss
between the bride and her groom symbolize the exchange of "souls".
Something old, Something new, Something borrowed, Something blue, and a Sixpence in her
Shoe
Originated in Victorian times. Something old symbolizes a continuation
of relationships with old friends. An old garter from a happily married woman may be used
to ensure the bride with a happy married future. Something new symbolizes the future for
health, happiness, and success. Something borrowed is an opportunity for the bride's
family or friends to give her a token of their love for the duration of the event. The
token must be returned to ensure good luck. Something blue is lucky because the color
represents fidelity and constancy This custom originates in Israel where brides wear blue
ribbon in their hair to symbolize their fidelity. A sixpence or penny may be worn in the
bride's shoe for luck during the wedding ceremony.
Toasting
Old French custom in which a piece of bread was placed in the bottom of
the cup of wine. The cup was then passed around and drank from each person in turn. When
it reached the person being toasted, they would drain the remaining contents, including
the bread.
Tying shoes to the car bumper
Originated in Tudor times when guests threw shoes at the departing
couple. If they or their carriage were hit by a shoe it was supposed to bring good luck to
the couple. Anglo Saxon grooms would symbolically hit the bride with a shoe to establish
his authority. The brides would then throw the shoes at their bridesmaids to see who would
be the next to wed.
Unity Candle
The lighting of the Unity candle symbolizes the joining of the bride
and groom's lives, as well as their joining families to one another. Some couples may have
Mothers light the individual taper candles at the beginning of the ceremony to symbolize
their family. The bride and groom then use their respective tapers to light the Unity
candle during the ceremony.
African American
There are many varies traditions depending on the area of Africa the family hails from
traditionally. Yet there are some customs that have a common thread in indigenous African
values, views, and experiences which provide a uniformity. Among some of the shared
customs and traditions include: the Libation offering, prayers and scripture readings,
marriage is a communal event, and marriage is between families not just the bride and
groom. Other customs and traditions have evolved from the days of slavery such as jumping
the broom. Weddings are great communal affairs, and family and friends are very involved
in the surrounding festivities.
Cutting the Cord
Ribbon held by the eldest of both families. The bride and groom exit through the ribbon
to symbolize the cutting of the original family ties to begin a new family of their own.
Feeding the Immediate Family
Baskets of loaves of unleavened bread is shared between the families after the 4
elements ritual. This represents the African belief that the wedding joins the families
lives together as well as the bride and groom.
Libation offering
A half a glass of wine is poured on the ground to call the ancestors to bear witness
and to seek guidance. The blessing of the elders honors the older members of the community
who have pasted along there experience and lessons to the younger generation. The eldest
in each side of the family may be seated on the aisle nearest the couple at the alter to
signify and remind them that their elders' wisdom is always close at hand for reference
and assistance.
Jumping the broom
Ritual dating back to the 1600's from West African origin evolved from when the rites
of marriage was denied to slaves. It was used as a symbol of the passage of marriage. The
broom is a household symbol used by some to "sweep" away evil. Today, it is seen
as a symbol of the ingenuity and devotion in the re-creation of a solemn ritual under
adverse conditions It is also the symbol of the couple starting a new home together
Handle represents the Almighty (God)
Straw represents the Family
Kola nut
African symbol of healing. Exchanged to signify the couple and the families will always
be able to heal any personal differences and overcome any problems through love.
Tasting the 4 Elements
Also called Bitter Herb Tasting or Tasting of Four Temperaments. This is a symbol of
the traditional promise to love each other "for better or worse, for richer or
poorer, in sickness and in health". Lemon- for the "sour", Vinegar- for the
"bitter", Cayenne- for the "heat", and Honey- for the
"sweet" times of marriage.
European
England
One custom from England is the cake. A traditional English wedding cake is fruitcake that
is iced.
France
The traditional wedding cake is not a cake at all. It is generally a raised tier of
individual cupcakes or bon bons.
Germany
Greece
For many, watching the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" is the extent of their
exposure to Greek wedding culture. The movie did a good job of showing some of the basic
aspects of a traditional Greek wedding. Like many other cultures, weddings in the Greek
community are communal affairs and the families and friends are very involved. Marriage is
a very serious issue in the Greek community. The traditions are steeped in religious
symbolism and marriage is seen as a continuation of the culture and the uniting of two
families, not just the wedding couple.
There may be various styles of wedding ceremonies, including a full religious Greek
Orthodox ceremony with all of the pomp and circumstances of ancient Athens. The symbol of
the Trinity- Father, Son, and Holy Spirit- are important aspects of the Greek Orthodox
religion and are incorporated symbolically within the wedding celebration Many of the
ceremony rituals are performed in series of threes.
Marriage is a sacrament within the Greek Orthodox church. The ceremony actually begins on
the steps of the church in front of the doors, where the priest blesses the rings and they
are exchanged. This part of the service is called the Betrothal. The couple are then led
into the church by the priest. The couple stand on a white cloth before a platform.
Following the couple in the processional a wedding icon is carried. The bride and groom
hold lit candles, which they hold throughout the ceremony. The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
is performed followed by three prayers
Stefana or crowns are then placed on the bride and grooms heads as a symbol
of God bestowing His blessings in the form of crowns and in recognition of the couple's
roles in the Kingdom of God. The crowns are generally connected by a ribbon to symbolize
the couple's eternal bond as husband and wife. They are usually floral in motif, like a
wreath, but may be of other materials. The crowns reside atop a tray of almonds at the
front of the church. During the ceremony, the crowns are exchanged or switched between
both heads three times, generally by the best man or koumbaros. The almonds
from the tray are distributed to the single female wedding guests. Like placing a piece of
the wedding cake under your pillow on other cultures, Greek women are supposed to dream of
their future husband if they place the almonds under their pillow. Following the Crowning
ceremony, the ceremony continues with readings and the couple sharing a communion cup. The
couple then follows the priest around the wedding platform three times to become husband
and wife.
Traditionally, a bride carried herbs or grains as a fertility symbol and at the reception
the couple would eat a cake made of honey, sesame seeds, and quince as a symbol of their
commitment to each other through good and bad. The bride may also carry a cube of sugar in
her glove for the ceremony as a symbol of a "sweet" married life.
Today's bride may have some herbs placed within her bouquet, such as rosemary, thyme,
mint, and basil.
Greek wedding receptions are festive affairs full of singing, dancing, eating, and
drinking The feast may include such traditional dishes as dolmathes, kapama,
moussaka, spetsiota, and spanakopita. Ouzo, an anise
(licorice) flavored liqueur and wine are the drinks of choice. The rich flavorful food is
followed by lively dancing and celebrating. The dancing traditionally begins with the
handkerchief dance or kalamatiano. The bridal couple begin the dance
together dancing holding a scarf or handkerchief by the ends between them. They then
invite others into the dance. As the festivities progress, breaking plates may be done to
ward off evil spirits for good luck. One other traditional dance encircles the bride
within two circles of dancing guests, who toss money.
Diples
Fried pastries made of honey and nuts displayed on the same table with the main wedding
cake.
Dolmathes
Traditional Greek appetizer of grapes leaves stuffed with rice, dill, and mint.
Kalamatiano
Traditional handkerchief dance.
Kapama
Traditional dish of lamb simmered in onions and tomatoes with cinnamon and savory
flavors.
Koufeta
White chocolate covered almonds, symbolizing the bitterness and sweetness in life,
passed as favors for wedding guests always in odd numbered groups to bring guests good
luck. Usually in white tulle with sky blue ribbon to represent colors of the Greek flag.
Koumbaros or Kumbada
Traditionally the groom's godfather. Acts as a sponsor and instigates the actions of
the ceremony like the crowns exchange and the procession around the wedding platform.
Similar role of the Western culture's Best Man.
Moussaka
An eggplant and potato layered dish with béchamel sauce.
Spetsiota
A baked fish dish with garlic, tomatoes, and lemons.
Spanakopita
A spinach and egg pie with a filo crust.
Stefana
Crowns used in the wedding ceremony made traditionally from orange blossoms, twigs and
vines wrapped in silver and gold and attached by a long ribbon. Symbols of the bride and
groom as King and Queen.
Hispanic
Most Hispanic weddings are Roman Catholic and are performed within the context of Mass
(Nuptial Mass). The marriage rite is performed after the Homily and before the Offertory.
The Bride may place flowers in front of a statue of the Virgin Mary
Spanish Brides traditionally wear black silk wedding gowns with an intricately designed
lace veil. The Groom usually wears an embroidered shirt handmade by his future wife.
Orange blossoms are a favorite flower, representing happiness and fulfillment, because the
orange tree bears both fruit and blossoms at the same time.
As the newlyweds are leaving the church, red beads may be tossed at them to bring good
luck. At the reception, the couple is surrounded by their guests with joined hands in a
heart shape. In Spain, guests traditionally dance a sequidillas manchegas and
present the couple with a gift. In Mexico, mariachi music may be played as a recessional.
Arras
The Groom gives the Bride 13 coins, representing Jesus and the 12 apostles, as a symbol
of his ability to support and care for her. She carries these in a little bag to the
ceremony where they are blessed by the Priest and represents the sharing of finances
between the couple
Copas
Wine glasses for the wedding toasts.
Lazo
"Lasso". White ribbon or rope, rosary, or orange blossom wreath which is
wound around the couple's heads in a figure eight as they take their vows. This represents
their joining as one.
Sponsors
Like "god parents", padrinos and madrinos, to the bride and/or
groom. They are mentors to the couple throughout their engagement and marriage. They
assist financially and spiritually in the wedding plans.
They also play prominent roles within the ceremony. Each pair assume responsibility for a
different segment of the wedding observance.
Jewish
In the Jewish religion, there are several branches of the faith--Orthodox, Conservative,
and Reform (most liberal). Some Jewish customs are dependant upon which branch you
practice and follow, and some customs appear within every faction.
One ancient Israeli custom is for the Bride to wear a blue ribbon in her hair as a symbol
of her fidelity. No weddings are held on the Sabbath, on Holy days, or during festival
periods. Most ceremonies are performed on Saturday evening after sundown or on Sunday.
Ceremonies are performed in both Hebrew and English, and are filled with traditional
rituals. Rings are plain gold bands. The Bride wears her ring on the right index finger,
except in the Reformed faith where it is worn on the left ring finger.
Bedeken
Orthodox pre-wedding ritual where the Bride is "veiled" by the Groom as a
sign of their betrothal.
Breaking the glass
Reminder of the destruction of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and of other calamities of
the Jewish people that should not be forgotten A less religious meaning is sometimes the
breaking of the old family and the beginning of a new family as a couple.
Challah
Braided loaf of egg-rich bread. The reception begins with the Blessing over the
challah, which is then cut and distributed to each table for good luck.
Hora
Traditional dance where the bride and groom are raised in chairs onto the shoulders of
their guests at the reception.
Huppah
A type of canopy under which the ceremony is traditionally performed. The bride may
walk around the groom 3 or 7 times, as she arrives under the huppah, symbolizing the woman
is a protective wall for her husband and upon stepping inside, that they have a new status
or family circle. The parents stand outside the huppah on the sides.
Ketubah
Signing of the marriage contract by the Groom. It is a document in Hebrew detailing the
Groom's promise to provide for the Bride. This is read as part of the ceremony and then
the ceremony ends with the reciting of the 7 Blessings and the breaking of the glass.
Yarmulkes
In Orthodox and Conservative sects, men are required to cover their heads with
yarmulkes (silk toppers). Women wear hats or kerchiefs.
Seven Blessings
Reminder that life's goals are not selfish.
Tanzen
Combinations and story dances like the Hora
Muslim
Muslim's do not have a wedding in a Western sense of the idea. It is not seen as a
sacrament in the Islamic faith, but is an important step in fulfilling and perfecting hald
of one's religion. It is the family of the Groom who searches for a suitable Bride. Their
wedding centers around the signing of a marriage contract (Nikah). This is a
private civil and religious contract conducted in an office not a mosque. The contract is
a pre-negotiated agreement with the Groom and Bride's closest male relative. With the
Bride's consent, the couple usually goes before the Sheikh (Islamic
magistrate) or Iman ( spiritual leader) with 2 or3 male witnesses to effect
the marriage, although any adult male Muslim may officiate. The Bride may be present at
the contract signing or she may be represented by a male or female relative (Wali).
The Bride is offered a dower or meher by the Groom. This is enough money,
gold, and gifts as insurance or cushion for the future and is agreed upon by elders from
both families. The Bride's wedding attire is also provided by the Groom's family. The
Bride and Groom are kept separate from each other until the ceremony
On the wedding day, the Groom is escorted by a procession of friends and family from his
home to the ceremony site. His arrival is hailed by the beating of drums and the playing
of musical instruments. Upon arriving, the Groom and the Bride's brother exchange money
and a sweetened drink called sharbet. The Bride's sisters welcome guests by
playfully hitting them with floral covered sticks In some countries, such as Morocco, the negraffa
may carry the Bride on their shoulders on a portable platform accompanied by the playing
of tambourines and accompanied by children carrying candles.
In many Muslim ceremonies, the couple may be seated in separate rooms or have a dividing
curtain between them. Both the Bride and Groom may be veiled. Selected passages from the
Koran (Qur'an) are read and both the Bride and the Groom are asked if they are satisfied
with the arrangement and wish to marry. The marriage is registered (nikaahnama).
The wedding reception is held four days after the wedding and is hosted by the Groom's
family. This symbolizes the two families becoming one.
Cherry red shades are used throughout the Muslim world for bridal robes.
There are many ceremonies that make up the marriage process in a Muslim wedding. The
rituals and ceremonies generally extend over several days.
Mangni
Engagement ceremony where rings are exchanged.
Manjha
Ceremony where the Bride is anointed with tumeric paste by negraffa (unmarried female
wedding attendants). This is applied in mehndi (henna designs) on the Bride's hands and
feet a few days prior to the wedding day. This traditional Muslim art form is done in
symbolic patterns. A token spot is also applied to the Groom The ingredients of tumeric,
sandlewood, and chameli oil are provided by the Groom's family. After this ritual, the
Bride does not leave her home until the wedding.
Rukhsat
The Bride's fathers farewell gesture of giving her hand to the Groom and asking him to
protect her always.
Ghunghat
Bride's head covering. It may vary in length extending down to the waist. Covering the
head during a wedding is a sign of respect.
Scottish
Scottish weddings are very communal affairs. The night before the wedding, everyone
gathers to wash the bride's feet. This symbolizes sending the couple off on a fresh path
together. The bride goes out on the town with her friends dressed in long trains of old
curtains or other household materials and carries a salt filled plastic potty. She fills
the pot with money in exchanges for kisses given to friends and strangers for luck. Her
friends escort her through town banging pots and pans to announce her upcoming wedding.
The groom dresses as a pregnant woman and is taken around town by his friends. He is
usually left naked and sometimes bound on his doorstep. Presents are displayed in the home
setting with an all day open house, similar to a shower. On the wedding day, the bride
traditionally "walks with the sun" walking from east to west on the south side
of the church and then circling the church three times "sunwise" for good luck.
The sun is associated with sexual stimulation and future fertility
Traditional Scottish wedding reception festivities can easily last all night. The
newlyweds lead off the dancing with a traditional reel. The bride's second dance is
reserved for the person with the highest rank among the wedding guests. The Sword dance is
usually performed at traditional weddings. Before leaving, the guests gather in a circle
and sing "Auld Lang Syne". Traditionally the entire entourage escorts the couple
back to there new home. Before the bride enters, an oatcake or bannock (barley and oat
biscuit) is broken over her head and a piece of cake is passed around to all present. The
groom then carries his bride over the threshold. The entire ceremony is concluded when the
Priest blesses the couple, their home, and the marriage bed.
Every Scottish clan, or Celtic clan, has their own family tartan. Over the
centuries, many tartans have been lost to history. There are several patterns that may be
used as more universal patterns, among them the Stuart plaid and the Black watch plaid.
Traditionally the groom pins a a "plaid" or sash of his family tartan on his
bride after the exchange of rings. This symbolizes the bride joining her husbands clan.
Tartan usage is a great way to give a nod to your Scottish, or Celtic, heritage. You can
go for traditional Scottish wear like kilts and dresses, or you can do more subtle
detailing like wrapping bouquet stems in tartan ribbon or simple tartan ribbons pinned to
lapels or use it as a drape for your tables for the reception.
Bagpiper
Very popular use in many weddings, even outside of the Scottish heritage. The piper
most often plays at the arrival or departure. The piper would be given a "wee
dram" in appreciation of his playing. The use of a piper comes from the tradition of
the clan chiefs using a personal piper preceding them with ceremonial fanfare.
Banns of marriage
Announcement of the intent to marry that is posted in the church three Sundays prior to
the wedding. It is supposed to prevent marrying in haste and gives time for any objections
to be raised. Required in areas under British rule, including Wales, Scotland and Ireland.
Broom
At the end of the ceremony, a broom is placed in the path of the couple's exit. They
have to get over it somehow. They can walk over it. He may carry her over it, or jump over
it together It is up to them. This symbolizes the daily details of marriage like who is
going to sweep the floors, etc.
Creeling
Old popular custom in the Scottish Highlands. A large basket (creel) is filled with
stones and tied to the groom's back He then has to wander through town carrying the creel
searching for his bride. If she is found and will give him a kiss he is allowed to get rid
of his burden.
Dirk
Dagger, provided by the piper, used by the bride to cut the cake. The bride's hand is
guided by the groom.
Foot washing
Old custom where friends wash the brides feet on the night before the wedding. Symbol
of sending the couple off on a fresh path. A wedding ring from a married women is placed
in the tub and whichever bridesmaid snatched it during the foot washing was supposed to be
the next to marry.
Handfasting
There is some historical discrepancy of whether it was originally meant to be a
betrothal or an genuine marriage. It is claimed to be a holdover from pre-Christian Celtic
marriage laws.
Then- A priest or minister wrapped the couples hands in the end of his stole to symbolize
the Trinity of marriage--the man and woman joined by God.
Now- The couples hands are wrapped using an especially made cord or embroidered cloth,
especially of clan tartans. If both in the couple are Scottish then both tartans are
entwined to symbolize the joining of the clans.
Heather
Traditional flower used in bridal bouquet as a lucky omen. It can also be dried and
kept as a keepsake over the years.
Horse shoes
Symbol for luck. Sometimes worn on the bride's arm, or a page might deliver one to the
bride as she arrives at the chapel for the ceremony.
Ribbon cutting
A tradition where the father of the bride cuts a ribbon fastened to the church gate or
door as a symbol of setting the bride free
Scammy
"The Scramble". Old tradition of the groom throwing a handful of coins to
children. Custom says it that this token will be constantly returned to the bride and
groom throughout the marriage.
Sixpence
Traditionally the bride wears an old British sixpence or penny in her shoe for good
luck.
Some other symbolic traditions include:
--the husband gives the wife wheat to provide for our home
--the wife gives the husband some woven cloth to provide for our home
--the husband gives a dagger for the defense of our home
--the wife gives a Bible for the spiritual defense of our home |